Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get enough respectful, science-based attention: early ejaculation during sex—especially in new relationships. A recent Reddit user, shared her honest and heartfelt experience: her boyfriend, who hadn’t been intimate for four years, climaxed within a minute or two the first few times they got physical. And now she’s wondering—is this normal, and should I give him time?
If you’ve ever been in a new relationship and noticed that sex doesn’t last “as long as it’s supposed to,” or if a partner orgasms quickly and you’re left a little confused.
What’s Actually Happening Here?
First, let’s clear up a common point of confusion: was it pre-cum or an actual orgasm?
Pre-ejaculate (aka pre-cum) is a clear fluid released before climax. It usually comes in small amounts and isn’t accompanied by the full-body release or muscle contractions of ejaculation. If your partner is visibly climaxing with semen, deep breathing, and muscle tension—that’s not pre-cum, that’s ejaculation.
Is 2 Minutes “Too Fast”?
This is one of the most frequently asked questions in sex ed. And the short answer is: not necessarily.
Climaxing in less than 1–2 minutes of stimulation might be classified clinically as rapid or premature ejaculation, especially if it’s persistent and causes distress. But in many cases, particularly when someone is:
- Very attracted to their partner
- Emotionally invested
- Inexperienced
- Or hasn’t had sex in a long time
…it’s totally understandable that their body might respond quickly and intensely.
In other words, your boyfriend isn’t broken. He’s overwhelmed—in a good way. And that doesn’t mean the relationship or your sex life is doomed. Far from it.
Why Does This Happen?
Let’s look at a few very normal reasons a guy might climax early, especially at the beginning of a relationship:
- Nervous system overload: He’s excited, nervous, turned on, and in love? That’s a cocktail of intensity that can make his body react faster than he’d like.
- Performance anxiety: The pressure to perform can ironically speed things up, not slow them down.
- Lack of recent sexual experience: Like he said—it’s been five years. His body might be responding as if it’s the first time all over again.
- Masturbation habits: If he typically finishes in 2–3 minutes when masturbating, that can carry over into partnered sex unless new habits are formed.
So… What Can You Do?
Here’s the good news: sexual stamina is not fixed. It can improve with time, experience, and good communication. Here are a few ways to support that growth:
1. Take Penetration Off the Pedestal
There are so many ways to connect sexually that don’t involve penetration. Keep exploring hand jobs, oral sex, mutual masturbation, toys, and extended makeout sessions. These forms of intimacy can deepen your connection and reduce pressure on him to “last.”
2. Use the Start-Stop Method
This is a classic technique where stimulation is paused as soon as the guy feels close to climax, allowing his arousal to come down a bit before continuing. It takes practice, but it works.
3. Pelvic Floor Exercises
Yep, Kegels aren’t just for people with vaginas. Men can also train their pelvic floor muscles to improve control over ejaculation. There are even apps and guided routines for this.
4. Communicate Without Shame
What you’re already doing—talking, asking questions, being emotionally open—is huge. A lot of sexual struggles become much easier to work through when they’re met with understanding rather than judgment.
Final Thought: Love, Not a Stopwatch
If your partner is deeply into you (emotionally and physically), that’s not a flaw—it’s a starting point. A quick orgasm isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a sign that he’s excited, vulnerable, and learning how to be with you in this new way.
And yes, you should give him time—if it feels right for you. Relationships, like sex, are not about performance; they’re about connection, patience, and exploration. You’re both beginners in this new chapter together—and that’s beautiful.
So breathe, stay curious, and remember: great sex is not about how long it lasts. It’s about how good it feels—for both of you.
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